SOME STRESS CAN BE GOOD

It may surprise you to hear that stress isn't always a bad thing! Having some stress can make us more focused, motivated, and excited. Too little stress can result in feeling unmotivated, but too much can result in feeling overwhelmed and unable to take action.

When we talk about stress, we are really talking about two different parts, stressors and the stress response. Stressors are the causes of our stress (an upcoming exam, not getting along with our parents, problems with our friends, or the upcoming soccer game), while the stress response is how we react to these stressors. To effectively deal with stress you must address BOTH pieces.

Here are some stress relieving techniques for “everyday stressors”. If you have serious stressors related to mental health or safety, please look at the hotline resourcs at the bottom of the page.

DEALING WITH STRESSORS

• Ask for help: You don't have to go through this alone. Please reach out to a counselor, teacher, parent, or other trusted adult for help. 

• Adjust your to-do list: Make a to-do list and then analyze it. Which things must get done? Which would be nice if you have the time? Which can be eliminated altogether? Prioritize accordingly.

• Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are about honoring your own limits, needs and values. This could look like passing up on an event that you'd rather not do, requesting time to think about something before making a decision, or many other things. It's okay to say no.

• Examine your coping mechanisms: Many people tend to distract themselves when they are feeling overwhelmed, which is useful in helping to regulate feelings. It is helpful to notice when this is happening to be able to decide if it's helping, or delaying a problem for later. 

• Reframe problems: Our attitude and perception of our problems greatly impacts how we feel about them. So maybe studying for that Chemistry test can be seen as a chance to get to study with your friend.

Dealing with the Stress

• Exercise: You may hear this all the time, but that's because it's crucial to managing stress. Exercise doesn't necessarily mean strenuous activity as much as it means moving your body, which could look like stretching, walking or hiking, dancing, riding a bike. 

• Make social connections: Connect with people you care about! It's best if this is in person, but if that can't happen, aim for a FaceTime or phone call rather than texting.

• Nourish your body: Your mental and physical wellness are so closely linked. Make sure to eat regularly and drink water. This includes reducing caffeine and sugar intake.

• Sleep: When we are feeling overwhelmed, our first inclination may be to stay up late to get things done, but this is actually doing more harm than good typically. Sleep is key to your well-being. Though oversleeping can be signs of other mental health issues such as depression. It is important as with everything else, to have balance. 

• Feel your feelings: Bottling up your feelings keeps the stress in your body. All feelings are temporary, so allow yourself to move through them by journaling, practicing mindfulness, do breathing exercises, etc.

Anxiety vs Feeling Anxious

It's normal to feel anxious, nervous, or worried at times. Anxiety is your body's fight or flight response kicking in that can cause the physical feelings we think of as anxiety, things like: sweaty palms, a racing heartbeat, butterflies in your stomach or nausea, trouble concentrating, and having a sense of danger or doom. While these feelings can be uncomfortable, they serve the purpose of bringing your attention to something happening in an effort to keep you safe (even if it sometimes may feel more harmful than helpful). 

If anxiety is more than a temporary feeling for you, it is time to seek support. This could look like anxiety getting in the way of daily activities such as your schooling, relationships, and enjoyment of other activities.

Anxiety Toolkit

• Breathing Techniques- Anxious feelings can impact our breathing, getting back to a calm and centered breathing pace can help reduce feelings of anxiety. Use the breathing techniques linked to help you get back to center. 
• Movement- Physically moving and shaking out your body can alleviate muscle tension and burn through adrenaline, helping your body feel calmer. You can shaking out your arms and legs one at a time for an 8 count, or just move however feels good to you in the moment.
• Cold Compress- Grab a piece of ice and hold it to the back of your neck or in your bare hands, then close your eyes and begin counting. Focus on your breath and the icy sensation until the ice melts. The cold sensation diverts your attention from anxiety to the physical sensation. 
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation- Take turns tensing and relaxing different muscle groups, moving through all areas of your body while deep breathing. Videos such as the one linked can help guide you through while you get used to the technique.
• Guided Walk- Walking can lower your heartrate and release feel good endorphins that balance stress. If you need to occupy your mind on a walk, focus on your senses. Stay in the moment and identify 5 things you see around you, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste (aka what does the inside of your mouth taste like right now). Do not rush through these and instead take the time to pay attention to each of these.

According to data from The Trevor Project's 2023 National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People, 41% of LGBTQ+ youth seriously considered suicide last year, with even higher rates among transgender, nonbinary, and BIPOC youth and 65% reported symptoms of anxiety while over half experienced depression. 

Importantly, these risks aren't due to identity itself, but stem from stigma, mistreatment, and political hostility, especially in today's climate where 90% of LGBTQ+ youth say their well-being has been negatively impacted. 

If you are a parent or friend of an LGBTQ+ student, here is how you can help:

• Learn about LGBTQ+ issues and mental health warning signs: Take the time to understand LGBTQ+ identities, experiences, and challenges. Educate yourself about the warning signs of mental illness.
• Listen actively and with compassion: Communicate openly and listen to their experiences, feelings, and concerns without judgment. Let them know they are heard and supported. Let them know you are there for them — offer unconditional support. Consider your own assumptions and biases.
• Respect their identity: Respect the identity of LGBTQ+ people in your life; affirm how they choose to live and use their chosen gender pronouns.
• Help create a safe and accepting environment: Foster an atmosphere of acceptance, love, and support within your family or social circle. Help to educate and inform others. if possible, help connect them with LGBTQ+ adult role models. Stand up for them when others mistreat them because of their LGBTQ+ identity or gender expression – at home, at school, and in the community.
• Coming Out: When it comes to coming out (aka telling other about their identity), let them take the lead, whether it is with friends or family. Parents- ask your child if and how you can help them tell other people about their LGBTQ+ identity.

RESOURCES:

• It Gets Better
• IMI Guide
• The Trevor Project
• Mental Health America
• Local Pride Centers- Solano Pride Center- Fairfield, CA and Rainbow Community Center- Concord, CA

Screen dependency looks like an excessive preoccupation with screens- social media, gaming, streaming videos, browsing the internet—that begins to interfere with daily life. This dependency can lead to withdrawl symptoms, irritability, and anxienty when you cannot get to your device. 

Why does Screen Dependency Exist?

• Instant Gratification: Whether it’s likes on social media or unlocking new levels in a game, we are constantly rewarded with quick hits of pleasure on screens. This creates a feedback loop that reinforces the behavior and makes it harder to log off.
• Escapism: For many, screens are a way to escape from school, family, and social life. Online platforms allow them to create alternate identities or tune out their worries and the real world seems less appealing by comparison.
• Peer Pressure: Teens place a lot of importance on fitting in and much of their social lives now take place online. Fear of missing out (FOMO) drives them to stay connected and constantly check their devices to stay in the loop with friends and trending content.

Negative Effects of Screen Dependency:

• Mental Health Issues- Excessive screen time has been linked to depression, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness. This is, in large part, because social media platforms showcase highly curated versions of reality, which can contribute to body image issues, low self-esteem, and constant comparison to others. Plus, the fast-paced content on TikTok and YouTube can overstimulate the brain and make it hard to focus on tasks outside of the digital world.
• Physical Health Issues- Prolonged screen time can also lead to physical problems, such as eye strain, poor posture, and headaches. Teens who spend most of their time on devices also do less physical activity, which can lead to weight gain, poor heart health, and a sedentary lifestyle.
• Sleep Issues- Staying up late scrolling through social media, gaming, or streaming shows, interferes with their ability to fall asleep. The blue light from screens also suppresses melatonin production, making it harder to get a full night’s sleep. Over time, sleep deprivation can make mental health worse, negatively impact your brains functioning, and lead to irritability and difficulty concentrating in school.
• Academic Decline- Teens addicted to screens often struggle to keep up with their schoolwork. They may find it hard to focus in class or complete homework assignments and instead choose to be on their devices. As screen addiction gets worse, teens may start to skip school or neglect their studies altogether, which can lead to poor grades and performance.

How to Reduce Screen Dependency?

• Time Limits- Many studies recommend limiting PERSONAL screen time to 30 minutes per day. Since this may be a drastic change for some, limiting screen use to one hour a day is also beneficial. 
• Digital Detox- A digital detox may be the best option for people who feel like their screen addiction has gotten out of control. This does not necessarily mean giving up all screen use but encourages users to cut back on non-work-related screen time.

  Taking scheduled breaks or putting the phone away before bedtime can be the first step in resetting and creating new, healthier relationships with screens.

• Lifestyle Changes- Find alternative ways to fill free time, specifically ones that do not involve technology. Finding new hobbies and interests, join additional extracurricular activites, find ways to engaging with others more in person, etc.

• Change Habits- If you find yourself looking at your phone the first thing in the morning and last thing at night, set your charging station away from your bed and try to start the first 30 min of your morning phone free.